Torn Between Two Families

When we left to go to Zambia as full-time missionaries in 1998, we had no idea how hard it would be to be so far away from family.  Phone service and internet was very poor, and since we didn't come home for three or four years we missed out on watching our nieces and nephews grow up, family vacations, special birthdays and holidays, and most of all the opportunity to talk to our parents and siblings any time we wanted. 

Thankfully, in those early days, Facebook did not exist so we did not see all the pictures of things we were missing, and what we couldn't see didn't hurt as much. I say "as much," because just knowing that our family was celebrating special times and events together without us was very hard at times-- especially at Christmas.

Today, in our present ministry at New Day we are able to come to the states every other year to raise support for the orphanage and see our physical family. This is a great blessing, but at the same time it is hard because we have another family that has captured our heart. We are torn between two families. Our heart strings seem to be pulled in two directions and sometimes it seems they will break. 

They may not be our physical
children, but they have our heart.

When we said good-bye to our New Day family in August, we felt a deep sadness not knowing for sure if we would see them again on this earth. But, when we arrived in the states and were reunited with our physical family, our hearts were filled with joy at being with them once again.  

During our five months in the states we had the opportunity

It's hard to talk about our kids at New
Day without getting emotional. 

to travel and tell people about New Day. Every time we shared we felt a tugging on our hearts to be with them, but we also had a tugging on our hearts to be finished with our speaking tour so we could be with our parents and siblings.

We were blessed to stay with our
parents for the months of November and
December. What a gift!

Now it is time to go the opposite way and the feelings are the same. We are gearing up to say good-bye to our physical family, also not knowing for sure that we will see them again on this earth. We feel sure, however, that when we arrive "home" to our New Day family, some of the sadness will be dispelled by their hugs and smiles.  We will be filled with joy at being with them once again, but we also know that there will be a lingering sadness of not being with our physical family on this side.

Hear me out, I'm not complaining, not many people get the joy of having two such wonderful families, I just wish we could all be together in one place. Hmmm, for those of who know Christ, some day we will. That will be great, our two families united together getting to know one another. Honestly, I can't wait for that day. 

A Fighting Spirit

Gertrude is one of our girls at New Day that I can relate to because she is a fighter and so am I. Let me explain.




I'll never forget the day that we went to visit Gertrude's village to see about bringing her to New Day. Her grandmother was caring for her after her mother's death but did not feel that she could care for her any longer. After visiting for some time, we decided that Gertrude should join our New Day family.

On the trip back to New Day Gertrude was talking up a storm asking lots of questions. This was very unusual because usually the first day is very scary for the children. One question she asked was, "Do the children at New Day fight?" Papa Wes told her, "No, we don't allow the children to fight." Well, maybe they do sometimes, but it is not something we just let go by. We didn't know why she would ask such a question until after she had been with us awhile. We learned that Gertrude liked to fight. In fact, she picked on Joseph, one of her new brothers, relentlessly. 

Gertrude has since accepted Christ and is growing into a beautiful young lady. She still has a fighting spirit, but as she grows we pray that her fighting spirit will be used for God's glory.

Like Gertrude, I've always had a fighting spirit within me. This fighting spirit got me into a lot of trouble before accepting Christ and it still gets me into trouble when I don't submit to the Lord's plan but try to do things my way. 

We were so young when we started our mission
career in 1991.

On the good side, this fighting spirit has helped me to stay on the mission field many times when I wanted to give up. It has helped me say "no" to things that I know are not good for me, and it has most recently helped me to come out of a long period of spiritual dryness.

Okay, it is time to get to the point of this whole post. I have struggled to keep up my blog for the last six years for various reasons. I had decided to forget it once and for all, and then my fighting spirit kicked in again. My first thought was "No, I don't want to do this again," but then I remembered a verse the Lord had given us while Wes was in the hospital following his stroke. Psalm 11:4 says, "Let those who fear the Lord say: "His love endures forever."  Wes and I made a commitment that the Wilcox house would say "His love endures forever," every opportunity that is given to us. I guess, for me, that means blogging again!

I've decided to use my fighting spirit this time to keep up this blog in spite of the obstacles that I know will come at New Day, like: power outages, a busy schedule, internet problems, and just plain not wanting to blog. My prayer is that each blog post will be a testimony of God's goodness and His enduring love. I pray that this time my fighting spirit will be used for God's glory!

Author:  Laurie Wilcox